things just keep getting better. i have a homecoming date with somebody who speaks very highly of the person i am, despite the hell i’ve been through. i’ve been full of happiness for 2 days straight now, and i’m stoked for each and every day yet to come. ~
I seriously cannot think of another word to describe the way i think i look, other than saying i hate it. I’m fucking sick of people expecting more from me. I’m not perfect, i know i’m not perfect, but when the fuck will somebody accept that? I don’t have perfect skinny, tone, legs. Or a flat stomach. I’m not tan, i don’t have perfect teeth, my hair doesn’t always fall the right way. My makeup doesn’t always stay on. My skin isn’t flawless, and i’m sick of going through a daily struggle to hide my flaws. Using self-tanner to cover up flaws, or the fact that i’m not tan. Wearing high waisted shorts or sucking in my stomach all the time. Using teeth whitener, and wearing makeup. I hate this fucking generation of judgmental fucks. If i’m expected to be a perfect, flawless human being than just don’t bother getting to know me or love my flaws or even waste your time acting like you do. It just blinds me, and makes me realize just how stupid i am to think anybody will ever love my flaws, since i don’t even love them.
I’ve come to the conclusion that i have to stop giving so much. I give way more than i get, and it’s always been that way. I get absolutely nothing in return. I actually, get hurt. Guys fucking suck, and it’s time i take a break for awhile until something good comes to me. Im done looking, and searching for something good. It’ll be worth it in the end when somebody actually wants to invest real time and real feelings on me.